Alone in the Dark

I would like to think of myself as a fairly logical person. For example, I've never believed in ghosts or anything like that. Although sometimes, my mind plays tricks on me as I sink into my covers at night. All the horror movies I have watched over the years have finally caught up with me and have taken over my imagination. Feelings of dread have been sneaking up on me when I turn out the light on my nightstand. Sometimes it happens when I'm on my way back from the bathroom...and I have to step into the darkened hallway to get back to my room. Even when I am back under the covers, I'll glance at the dark corner between my bedroom door and my closet door...where the moonlight doesn't hit...and for a split second I swear I saw that shadow move closer to me. Another terror I have are my closet doors. I ALWAYS make sure they're shut. Some nights I'll have my covers up by my head, blocking the view of those doors....and then I'll get that feeling. A thought or a question in my mind that asks..."What if I move the covers out of the way, and I see the closet doors have opened a crack?" The idea of a stranger being in the room with me is the most horrible thought I can possible have. It has been for a long time ( ever since I watched Black Christmas)...but these days it has really been grabbing a hold of me. It doesn't happen every night (thank god), but it's pretty fucking shitty when it does happen. I'm pretty sure most of this can be fixed with a little less scary movie watching....because I really do think I have seen all of the ones that are worth watching on DVD. However, there is a new one coming to theaters soon called " The Strangers" that I have to see. Not only does it look creepy, but it stars the wicked awsome actor Scott Speedman who I adore. On that note, I am off to go watch a little television, and then TRY to get some sleep after all this spook talk. Wish me luck!

It's Been So Long!

I don't feel like wasting a post explaining why I didn't blog for three months. There is no real point...because honestly who am I kidding...it'll probably happen again. The only time I feel an urge to blog....is when I am pissed at something and I need to vent. Does anyone else feel the same? I could talk about events and changes that occur here and there in my life....but it bores me. I KNOW!!! I will list things that have changed or piss me off! Nice and direct without boring details.



1. Going back to school for one year of either Animal Care of Office Adm. in Sept.

2. Working towards getting a place with Dave in mid Aug.

3. Quitting my job in Aug...and I'm happy about it.

4. Feel violent anger towards my mother these days. She's annoying.

5. Lakeshore Blvd is the worst street to drive on in the history of driving!!!



Sigh.That felt good. That basically covers everything I think about. That, and Neil Haskell is hot..and I need to get some traveling done. I'm going to do a photo shoot very soon...and I will post them here. I just want to come up with a good theme and think about who I'd like to model for them.

The Odd One

Here is a person who I love very dearly.......but who I find to be odd. Here is why.

DAVE: Claims to be a master in the art of cooking. Cannot get the bbq started so takes to cooking steak in a wok. Dave believes the wok is a frying pan. He does not grease the wok. Not only that....but also cranks the element to the maximum heat. The steak is sticking and burning to the bottom of the wok. Smoke is filling the main floor of the house. Finally, walking down the stairs from my room....I enter the scene. Here is where I imagine there would be a giant close up of my face as I say...."what the fuck??" I begin opening windows as well as the front door. Dave continues to flip the steaks in the wok. I run to his side, turn down the element, and turn on the stove fan. I look at him in confusion and ask what the hell he is doing. Dave says in an irritated manner, "This is what's SUPPOSED to happen, GOD! Smoke always fills the house when you cook steak in a pan!"

Blogger VS. Facebook

Well much has happened in the last little while...and its unfortunate that facebook has been getting all the updates and pictures. I am so sorry loyal blog users. I have not been able to balance out my computer time as I would have liked. Since facebook is where I go to do my updates on life....I feel like I am just repeating myself when I come to write a post on here. It's hard to try and divide up what I have to say......some of it going to facebook....and some to blogger. I know that is what I should do. I can't promise anything...I'm just going to have to do the best I can.

Before I continue....I want to state that I am in Dave's darkened room right now at 9am, and he is curled up like a larva on his futon with many blankets. Once in a while he mumbles to me about making a lot of noise with the keys as I type. Go back to sleep jerk nut!..........................................there he goes. We went through two bottles of wine last night for no reason at all....as we watched " Sideways". It was good times but I think I took like three drunken showers, then complained I had the spins for an hour before eventually passing out at what had to be around 10pm. My Saturday nights are kickin!!!! I warned him about what happens to me when I get shit faced. I pass out early and wake up early. I think I should stick to just the one bottle from now on. Oh god.............I'm sitting next to a plate of old rice and onions. Fuck thats gross. ( long Krusty the Clown groan).

So yes, the past few weeks have been really fun actually. I went to a wedding for like the first time since I was four, and I loved getting all dressed up. The day after was my birthday which I spent relaxing and stuffing my face. At work I had a short week because I booked off two days to go to a concert in Toronto ( So You Think You Can Dance)..which was such a great experience! The show was amazing and we were right up close to the stage. It's so awsome to see the dancers up close when they perform.....especially Neil. That boy is damn sexy. Afterwards we waited around a while to get pictures with them...which are all over my facebook, so I feel like I ruined this post. No point in putting them up now. We had a long ride home that night on the GO-Train. It just so happens we sat in the same area as a total lunatic. He was all huntched over a few seats behind Dave and I....and after a few minutes began mumbling to himself. Those mumbles turned into screams as the train rode on....and eventually he began bashing his cane against a steel pole! The few people around us all shot nervous glances at one another...and some moved to farther seats. Dave and I just sat there paralized with fear. Afraid if we moved in any way...the man would attack. Of course that was stupid but at the time we just felt like we should stay put and ignore him. Finally I had had enough...and got up to move when the train came to one of it's stops...and the man jumped up and ran out the doors as they came sliding to a close! He barely managed to fit through the tiny gap! Just like that he was gone. Leaving his broken cane on the floor. No idea why he ran out of the train. He was just fucking crazy and should be locked up somewhere! All in all, it was a memorable night.

The next time I have pics to post, I'll put them on blogger. Christmas is coming up so I know I will be blogging more often do to my childlike excitement for the holidays. I bid you good day.

Soon bitches......soon.

I am waiting for certain events to happen so I can blog about them. Be patient my pets.

Update

What is up with this weather? Aaah yes............global warming. How you stole my crisp cool air and crunchy leaves. We better still get my perfect autumn weather...no more of this hot sun and humidity bullshit. Anyways...I feel I should update on my life because I haven't done anything like that in a long time. Brace yourselves for the excitement! This past month at work, the kids I look after went back to school...so my days have been very calm and quite boring. After I get cleaning done I don't know what to do with myself for several hours. I have taken to going home and hanging out with my mom, which is really wearing on my gas situation. To sit in their house all day though...and feel like I need to look busy since the dad is home a lot, really sucks. The parents told me I can do whatever I want during the day so it's not a big deal leaving, but it just makes me want a steady office job or something. I don't know. On another note, Dave and I have a wedding to go to at the end of the month, and I will need to fit into a nice dress. This is where I will need to start eating less snacks and attend the gym I have joined on a regular basis. I did well with going the first two weeks, then this past week I pussied out a bit. Well there can't be anymore of that this month if I want to shape up to fit into a dress. Also, a few days after the wedding we are going to a concert. It is the "So You Think You Can Dance" gang on tour. We have amazing seats right up close so it should be really fun. As for moving out, I really don't know when it's going to happen since I'm not saving as much money as I wanted...and Dave is having financial issues of his own. I really would love to move out soon.....even if my career is uncertain. I want to decorate and have some privacy! Sometimes I want to go somewhere far away....like New York City, and just live there for a little while. Not very practical of me...but it's nice to think about. So all in all, things are sort of...........weird. It seems as though things are waiting to take shape.

September - December is the bestest!!!

Today is September 3rd, and I can't wait for fall. The summer went by so fast, but I am happy it is coming to an end soon. I'm sick of sweat and tank tops. I haven't been particularly fond of my body this summer so I am going to join a gym this week so I don't feel like a blob anymore. And soon I will be able to put jeans and socks on again!! Not that that should be an excuse to continue to eat like shit...(man do I need to eat some veggies), but I love autumn clothes. This is the time of year when I am the most happy...I loooove the fall. Colorful leaves, crisp air, pumpkins, turkey dinners, festivals, holidays, and ect. Work should be easier now that the kids are going back to school. It'll be weird going back to not having them around..but I was running out of ways to entertain them. Not to metion all the play dates I had to organize and put up with. My days will now constist of cleaning their house, running errends, and relaxing. Geez I need to find a real job soon....this is unatural.