The Odd One

Here is a person who I love very dearly.......but who I find to be odd. Here is why.

DAVE: Claims to be a master in the art of cooking. Cannot get the bbq started so takes to cooking steak in a wok. Dave believes the wok is a frying pan. He does not grease the wok. Not only that....but also cranks the element to the maximum heat. The steak is sticking and burning to the bottom of the wok. Smoke is filling the main floor of the house. Finally, walking down the stairs from my room....I enter the scene. Here is where I imagine there would be a giant close up of my face as I say...."what the fuck??" I begin opening windows as well as the front door. Dave continues to flip the steaks in the wok. I run to his side, turn down the element, and turn on the stove fan. I look at him in confusion and ask what the hell he is doing. Dave says in an irritated manner, "This is what's SUPPOSED to happen, GOD! Smoke always fills the house when you cook steak in a pan!"